


Converging Trajectories

by Pendule



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Gintoki character study, Gintoki needs a hug, Hurt/Comfort, Investigations, Kinda Getting together, M/M, Update every Tuesday, hijikata-centric, it's not as angsty as it sounds, no major spoilers, non-established relationship, set somewhere after the Shinigami Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23771959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pendule/pseuds/Pendule
Summary: Hijikata is investigating alone on a traffic in a small town on the outskirts of Edo. He'll soon realise that a certain silver-haired man is also working on the case. What will happen when they will cross path?
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 49
Kudos: 153





	1. A Foggy Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> First of all, I'm a non-native English speaker, so I'm sorry if there's any mistake.
> 
> That said, I hope that you will enjoy my fic as much as I enjoyed writing it! It's one of the longest fic I've ever written and yet I wrote it faster than anything else! I poured my whole heart into it and I hope that it will be felt!
> 
> See ya at the end!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> First of all, I'm a non-native English speaker, so I'm sorry if there's any mistake.
> 
> That said, I hope that you will enjoy my fic as much as I enjoyed writing it! It's one of the longest fic I've ever written and yet I wrote it faster than anything else! I poured my whole heart into it and I hope that it will be felt!
> 
> See ya at the end!

The evening had started pretty nicely for Hijikata. Sougo was off duty, meaning that he wouldn't have to patrol with the annoying kid around, and Kondo was busy training some new recruits. As for Yamazaki, the man was in tailing on a joui rebels branch and it would probably take him a whole week to at least gather the desired information Hijikata had asked him to find.

In short, Hijikata was alone on his nightly patrol with no one to mess around. It was nice sometimes, to be alone on a job. It helped to be a simple Shinsengumi’s member and not the Vice-Commander, not having to give orders to anyone. Even though he liked to be in charge, it was easier to simply follow orders sometimes.

Tonight he had opted for a patrol on the outskirts of Edo instead of the usual busy districts he had the habit of patrolling into. The Shinsengumi had heard hearsay about how some illegalamantos were trafficking stuff, but they didn’t know what yet, so Hijikata had offeredto patrol into the village. It had been a while since the man had had his own solo mission.

Hijikata was used to poor areas, he had grown up near the poor neighbourhoods in their hometown, after all. However, this place was something different. He had been used to fields and flowers into the countryside, but this town here was nothing like the idyllic green-filled hamlets you could see in cliché movies. The mismatched wooden frontage of the houses gave to the town the feeling of a weird patchwork, where someone had tried to assemble various materials to make it look like some sort of chequerboard, but had failed miserably. Instead, the rows of houses made of different wood only succeeded in giving to the area a sense of dull hopelessness. Just as if the poverty of its inhabitants could be read on its very walls.

These families living here, for the most of them, had the misfortune of having been on the wrong side of the amanto's war decades earlier, the fathers and sons having been violently murdered during the repression times that had followed the amanto's victory. As to remember them of their relatives' mischoice, the families had been parked on the outskirts of the city, on what was left of one of Edo's former districts. The people had been then forced to repair the half-destroyed houses with what they found around and it was how the whole area had ended up looking so odd.

This area was usually given for patrol to the new recruits, the place being quite calm, for there was mainly children and women living here. Most of the men -those left, the little brothers and the too young sons at the time- were away all week long, too taken in their jobs to come back during the week. It would have been too expensive for them to anyway.

If the hearsay had been true, then, the Shinsengumi would have to put an end to the traffic real quick. And it was not because the population was in danger, even though they were. The fact was that the Shinsengumi was, before being anything else, the Bakufu's guard dog. Meaning that the Shogun passed before anything else, no matter how dangerous the situation could be for the population, or how important it was, the Bakufu would always go first. This was the reason why most of the Shinsengumi's missions were made in the greatest secrecy and that Matsudaira was always informed only at the end of the operations.

Basically, Hijikata had four nights to regulate the situation. Kondo usually gave his report on Sundays, tonight was Wednesday night. If he wasn't done by Sunday, Kondo would have to lie to the old man and then when the case would be over, the latter would have to punish the whole squad for hiding information from him, and that was never good news.

It was around 4am right now, Hijikata had been there since midnight, three of his men sharing the 7am to 12pm patrol. He'd obviously been there since the beginning of the week, but he had to stay silent and discrete in order to lower the traffickers' suspicions on him. Kondo kept saying that a 7 hours shift was way too long, even for him, but the vice-commander frankly didn't care. He was mostly running on adrenaline now. The thoughts of reaching what he had been looking for in the past few days keeping him alert and ready. If he was tired, he didn’t feel it yet.

The street lamps were slowly starting to turn on, but in this side of the area, there were so few of them that it didn't seem to change anything. The night was still as dark as it had been 4 hours ago, and the weather hadn't changed a bit. Thankfully there wasn't much wind, but the temperatures were low and the air was humid. The streets were empty of people, but full of fog, Hijikata's only companion in these tough nights.

Eyes used to the lack of light, he was wandering around the streets. Someone peering through their windows could've said that he was “aimlessly” walking, but it would have been a misleading statement. He had already found his target's identity, the storage place, and their transporting route. The only things missing were the nature of the merchandise, and its buyers’ identity. And with the merchandise, he could easily find its provenance.

The first thing he had found during his investigation was the men's identities. It had been quite easy to find their trail, groups of men busying themselves in the middle of the night was not to go unnoticed. He had stumbled on them on the first night, hearing noises coming from the outskirts of the village. He had silently followed them, slowing down when they had reached what looked like their meeting place with the purchasers. It was some sort of clearing not so far from the village, except that instead of green grass like we would expect, the ground was made of rocks and dirt, and an old abandoned stone-made building was standing in the middle of the clearing. A testimony of an ancient life, before the war, before it all.

He had had to leave before seeing anything else that night, though, the men being more suspicious than he would have imagined. But after that it hadn't been hard to connect the dots. Their depot was a house just like all the others around. Except that this one was completely empty. Composed of two floors, the merchandises were stored in the upper floor, leaving the ground floor to be a sleeping place, with rudimentary bunks. But Hijikata hadn't been able to find what was on the last floor, the attic. The other two rooms had windows on each sides, but not the last one. It intrigued him. He couldn't quite understand why the traffickers would prefer to stock the boxes on the floor with windows instead of into the dark and unattainable one.

Since the beginning of his mission, Hijikata had felt that something wrong had beenhappening in this town. Something bigger than he could've thought about, but he had no tangible evidence to prove it, the only indication being his instinct. But after days of waiting, lurking in the shadows of the streets, it seemed like there finally would be action tonight. With only fournights left, he had to be quick, so he was going to try to infiltrate the trafficker’s house tonight. Though he would be careful and back up at the slightest sign of danger. Better safe than sorry was the saying, right?

He was careful not to walk under the scarce street lamps' lights, the full moon beams' enlightening the streets just enough for him to see without too much difficulty. Tonight the moon was full, and its light gave a weird aspect to the streets, a reversed world where the sun didn't seem to exist anymore, darkness reigning over the streets. The fogginess added to the place an even more surreal sensation.

However, it didn't seem to undermine Hijikata's determination. Tonight would be the night where he would finally find what was in these boxes and the reason why these traffickers were hiding. More than the traffic in itself, what was bugging him was the fact that the transactions took place almost every nights, at the same time, and with the same people. The only thing he could imagine it to be was weapons and more especially handguns. But the boxes were bigger and stocking so much merchandise into only one box was too stupid. The amantos may be criminals, but they were far from being stupid. After all, Hijikata still didn't know the ins and outs of the whole deal.

Hijikata was pacing in the town just like usual, just like he had been for the past three days, and would keep doing for the 4 and a half next. The streets were empty just as usual, silent, almost worryingly. The fog didn't allow him to see really around him, but he didn't really need to anymore, he'd memorised the streets already.

That was when he heard it. So faint, at first, that he thought he was imagining it. Yet, when he walked a few strides again, there was no mistaking. These were footsteps. He was being followed.

He kept walking at a normal pace, pretending he didn't feel the presence behind him. His mind was racing, analysing the situation and weighing his options. He didn't have many though. He sped up, turning and returning into different streets, and the footsteps indeed kept following. Fine.

He took his phone out of his pocket, typing his location swiftly. Whatever was going to happen next, Kondo would know where to find him. He sighed, he didn't like to worry the other man, but he had promised him that, since he was alone on the mission, he would text him if the situation turned sour. Maybe he wasn't in direct danger, but for once, he played it safe. He pulled his phone back into his jacket and sped up.

It was strange, just minutes ago the moon had been lightening the whole street just like in broad daylight. But right now, it felt like both her and the clouds had formed an alliance, making it impossible for Hijikata to see fully behind him. Thankfully, he knew the streets by heart by now, and he could run almost freely without having to stop at every junction.

He'd started running now, looking for that dead end he had noted in the corner of his head a few days ago. It was a deathtrap for him, but once there he could easily take down his opponent without having to worry about his surroundings. He saw the familiar wooden walls he’d been looking for and closed his eyes, trying to slow his breath and calm his nerves before the head to head started. Then everything went too fast.

He crossed the junction and turned to face his assailant. His back grazing the wall behind him during the movement. He unsheathed his sword, not letting the time to the other to react. However, when he was about to cut his opponent, he missed his target. He wasn’t sure which one was to blame between his brain or his body, but he was sure the white of the assailant's kimono had something to do with his failure.

His sword went into the wall, sinking into the wood just like in butter, its blade licking the person's sides he had barely missed. The time seemed to still while Hijikata realised that his blade was stuck and that he was awfully exposed, defenceless. _Fuck_ he thought. _That's it_. He was fucked. He closed his eyes, waiting for a final blow that never came.

He heard the ruffling of fabric, and felt a hand firmly grabbing his left wrist. Frowning, he opened his eyes again, annoyed to see that his death wouldn't come as easily. The first thing he noticed was blue patterns on a white sleeve. Looking up, the second was a mop of silver hair and red eyes gazing at his face just like it was trying to bore through his skull.

Slowly, the hand on his wrist untangled his hand from his own sword, allowing Hijikata to finally take a step back. 'What the fuck?' was the first thing Hijikata said. 'What the fucking hell, you fucker, what are you doing here?' was the second. Visibly unfazed, Gintoki pulled the sword out of the wall, freeing himself in the motion. He dusted his kimono, adjusting his clothes back in a more normal way. He then raised a brow, finally speaking up 'I should ask you the same question, that is not a place for a Vice-Commander to be, especially not at 4am'.

Hijikata was struck by the stupidity of Gintoki’s remark and started to argue about how his job literally was to patrol in the middle of the night. 'You do realise that I could've killed you just now? What the hell were you thinking, following me in the middle of the night like some psycho?'. He got no answer back and finally stopped yelling at the other man. Something was off.

Lights had been turned on and were coming through a window from a closer house, his screaming having alarmed the residents nearby. The light exposed half of Gintoki's face, and that's what made Hijikata twitch. Usually, even though he had a dead-fish-like expression, Gintoki’s eyes always held some sort of entertainment and warmness. But right now, all the officer could see was detachment and a coldness he'd seen too much in those black orbs. The silence between them started to be heavy, and Hijikata became painfully aware of how weird the situation was. He hoped that his voice hadn't alerted the traffickers, but he couldn’t think any further because Gintoki moved. Hijikata wanted to ask him what he was doing here again, but the man in front of him sighed andfinally detached himself from the wall.

Hijikata was still looking for words as Gintoki walked past him silently, just as if nothing had happened. He stopped a few steps away, turning to Hijikata and looking him straight in the eyes. 'You should get out of here before things go downhill' and with that, he was off. Frowning, Hijikata didn’t even have the time to catch him up before the man disappeared out of his sight, leaving a disconcerted Hijikata in the middle of the street, pondering at 3 in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I hope that you liked this first chapter! 
> 
> It's only the first one on seven and I hope that you will love the others just as much. By the way, the whole fic is already written and corrected so there will be a new chapter every Tuesday!
> 
> To be honest, I am absolutely exhilarated and thrilled at the idea of posting that first chapter. As I already said earlier it's my first work on Gintama and as it is a Manga that touched me deeply, I hope that my love towards it will be properly transcribed!
> 
> Also, it took me exactly 40 days to write and correct it entirely and it's usually the time it takes me to write a OneShot so I've never been that excited to write a fic before, idk what happened to me ahah.
> 
> Anyway, please leave some kudos and comments, it always makes me so so happy!!
> 
> And please give me your opinion on the fic, it's really important for me! It was long to write but I'm really proud of it ♥


	2. There's a storm coming up

When Hijikata woke up that day, an uneasy feeling had settled into his guts. He had encountered the Yorozuya more than once throughout his missions, but yesterday, the man had seemed different. So much that Hijikata hadn't been able to think about anything else from the time he woke up to the time he arrived in town again for his shift hours later. But he could not allow himself to be distracted once on the job. He wasn't the vice commander for nothing. Even though his emotions got in the way sometimes, he easily sorted them out to focus on the job.

  
  


He had barely talked with Kondo before leaving, he had kind of gotten into an argument with him last night, in fact. After the impromptu meeting with Gintoki, he had had to get back in the town to avoid any troubles with the traffickers. He knew they had their schedule, and they knew he had his. If he wasn't at the usual place in time, they would get the hint that something was off and that their business was threatened.

  
  


He had quickly left the place after their impromptu meeting last night, clearing his head from the many questions about Gintoki that had been left unresolved. He had walked back to the centre of the village again, and had acted as if nothing had happened. He still had to stay cautious about what he did or said in town after all. But he felt like this would be complicated to do so in the next few days if his fears were to be confirmed. If the Yorozuya was here, it meant that something would happen, the man always landed himself into horrendous situation. Him being here at 4 in the morning could only mean trouble.

  
  


The thing was that, after having known the man for a few years now, Hijikata had started to understand how the man was working. Not working in the job way, even though it did apply to this too, but no, his way of functioning. He'd seen the man throw himself into stupid fights, weird competitions and random jobs with his kids, and it always seemed to somehow end well. The thing was, he couldn’t understand how both the kids and the man could stand each others after passing so much time together. He personally couldn't stand living in the same building as Sougo for most of the time, and he had to admit that it was hard for him to stand the stupidity of Kondo as well sometimes. However, Gintoki and the kids always seemed to get along well enough to get things done, and if they argued, their quarrels were always quick to end, mostly thanks to food. Hijikata thought it to be weirdly endearing and impressive, but he would never admit it outloud.

  
  


However, there were times where Gintoki was alone. Times where he would hide from the kids for days, or simply act as if his surroundings didn't really exist, a walking ghost in broad daylight. And during those times, Hijikata knew that the places he wandered to and the people he met turned him into a different man. A more deathly, deadly, and self-destructive one.

  
  


In those times, no one could save him from the demons haunting him. In fact, they -all his friends- could barely stop him from killing himself from exhaustion. That was the least and the only thing they could do. The man was good at his job, doing things people couldn't or didn't want to. The thing was, he was too good. And so, he always ended up carrying the weight of the dead on his shoulders as a burden, a punishment he believed only him had to carry. It seemed like Gintoki thought everything was his fault and so, he never let anyone help him. Especially not his kids.

  
  


And that was how the silver-haired man often ended up wounded almost deadly from a fight he didn't have to take part of in the first place. It was how he was, running after death, hoping that she would take him into her arms. But she always refused.

  
  


Seeing Gintoki alone that night, at 4pm in a place where he had no reason to be was fishy. But him telling to Hijikata that things would 'go downhill' was even worse. These two elements alone should have been enough to tip Hijikata off on how the traffic might have not been simply about guns and swords. However, the nature of the traffic wasn’t the thing that was bothering him the most. No, the thing that he couldn't get out of his head no matter what he tried was his eyes. Gintoki's eyes had been devoid of any emotions. Hijikata had seen that look in the latter's eyes more time than he'd ever wished to, and he knew for a fact that it could only mean one thing: Something was wrong and people were dying.

Hijikata wasn't sure what everything was about, but he sure had a bad feeling regarding his investigation. He had known the minute he had arrived in the small town that something was fishy. However, Gintoki's presence had given him the confirmation of it. He could have tried to pretend that Gintoki's presence had nothing to do with his investigation, but it would've been obviously wrong.

Lost in his thoughts, Hijikata was still wandering into the quiet town, pondering about last evening’s events. In truth, he had already planned his night and was simply waiting the given time he had chosen to finally move into action. But the thing was that the more he thought about the night before, and the more pissed off he was. What was up with Gintoki? Who did he thought he was? Really, Hijikata didn't understand why the little shit had acted like that. It made him lose his mind. It wasn't okay.

  
  


Actually, he was angry at himself for being so troubled by the man’s words and presence. He genuinely didn't understand what happened with himself. He felt weird every time the Yorozuya was around, lately.

  
  


But now wasn't a time to dive further into his emotions. Tonight was the big night. He knew that the traffickers were leaving their stash at 3:20am, meeting their buyers at 4:00am, and were back at 5:20am. During these two hours, Hijikata had to infiltrate the house, find the merchandise, to ideally take pictures and notes, and to then get back to his normal routine. All the while avoiding getting detected by the guards. He could do that, he had to.

  
  


His plan was painstakingly organised in a way that there was no room for a misstep. A single mishap would be fatal and would compromise both his mission and the inhabitants' safety. There was no sign that they could get hurt, but once again better safe than sorry.

* * *

Hijikata mulled his plan over and over again, so much that the time to set up camefaster than he would have thought and he ended up in his designed hideout. It was 3:05am by now. Only 15 minutes left and his plan would be started up. He wouldn't say that he was anxious, but apprehension certainly was starting to mess with his nerves.

  
  


He closed his eyes, erasing his surroundings, his breathing being the only sound reaching his ears. Inhale. Hold it in. 1, 2, 3. Exhale. He did it a few times before his nerves finally slowed down. His mind entering a foggy state, just as it always did when he was about to fight. Not that he was planning to. But you always have to be prepared.

  
  


He stayed like that for a certain amount of time, knowing the minutes were ticking by and he would soon have to set off. However, while he was still intently focused on his plan, something caught his attention. Through his breathing and the deafening silence of the street, he perceived noises in the distance. He wasn't sure from where it was coming from, but the more he tried to listen to it, the more it seemed to increase. As if the source of the noise was multiplying, or moving. He frowned. The noises grew louder and he couldn't ignore it anymore. There was no silence no more. Voices raising in the middle of the night, loud enough to wake the whole district up.

  
  


It wasn't good, Hijikata had a bad feeling. He had to stay where he was, but something was definitely off. And according to what he was hearing, people were in danger. He weighed the pros and cons, and reluctantly got out of his hiding place. It was still his job to help people in need after all. Locating the source of the noise was not difficult since it grew louder and louder by each passing seconds.He hurried up but was stopped in his tracks by sounds in his back.

  
  


Slowly, he turned around and realised that the traffickers were slowly leaving their stash. Hijikata was torn between turning back on his heels and following his initial plan, or leaving to help the villagers. But the choice was made for him. In this brief moment of hesitation, his eyes met one of the traffickers', and they both knew that at that time of the night, Hijikata wasn't supposed to do his patrol in this side of the town. It was brief, but enough for Hijikata to grit his teeth to prevent him from cursing, and to start running into the ruckus' direction.

  
  


The traffickers probably knew that he was there for them, though. After all, you didn't send a Vice-Commander to patrol into a calm and well-known peaceful area if there was nothing to look for. However, this was a confirmation. But it was too late, all he could do now was handle the screaming situation and analyse this issue later on.

  
  


_Fuck_. He ran towards the houses, and the closer he got to them, louder the screams were getting. But then he realised that it wasn't so much as screams of pain than angry yell. Noises of creaking wood and clinking saucepans reaching his ears as he stopped running. He finally saw the house from where the sounds seemed to come, and as he slowed down, a figure got out.

  
  


There was already people outside, but it seemed like everyone was looking at the silhouette, yelling and throwing various objects at it. Hijikata frowned. He was still meters away from the scene but he could clearly see the anger shaking the person's shoulders. It was a man, he noted, as he took the details in. It was hard to tell through the fog, but his shoulders were slacked and even though he wasn't that tall -maybe around Hijikata's height- there was something threatening coming from him, a sort of aura. Or maybe it was just Hijikata's imagination, but he could swear he felt a chill crawling down his spine as he walked closer.

  
  


He was only a few strides away from the man when he froze, stopped dead in his tracks. He knew him, he realised. Why hadn’t he recognised him before? His hair was blending with the fog, but there was no mistake. No one was walking around with a perm like that.

  
  


Angers started to take over him, and he walked towards the man before he even registered it. But then Gintoki turned towards him and his eyes locked with Hijikata's. For the second time this night, the Vice-Commander got stopped in his tracks. Gintoki’s eyes were once again devoid of any emotion except anger and rage. And even this seemed to blend with the emptiness that filled his black pupils. Just as if his wildness had been slowly seeping away to let the place to emotionless indifference.

  
  


Hijikata didn’t understand the situation, but one thing was sure, Gintoki had ruined his plan for the second time this week. He started to yell at him, determined to make himself heard but Gintoki started walking towards him. He blinked and Gintoki walked past him, shoving him away a little. It was so uncharacteristic of the man that Hijikata didn't even feel like protesting. It felt like the man could draw his sword at any moment, and Hijikata knew that now was not a good time to fight against the Yorozuya. Once again, the silver-haired man was alone, his kids not following in his tray. It was weird to see his figure slowly fading away into the fog, almost silently.

  
  


Hijikata couldn't think about it more because already the people around kept screaming and he had to stop their ruckus quickly. He sighed as he walked towards them, preparing for a disproportionate outburst.

  
  


He stayed with them for almost one hour, and he hadn't even quite caught the reason of the “fight” even after leaving the house. When he walked back in front of the traffickers' house that night, the lights were on, a rare sight he'd never seen before. But the curtains were drawn and he couldn't exactly see what was going on inside. His plan for the night was fucked, after all, so he resigned himself and decided to patrol in the town up until the next shift.

  
  


His rage only showed up once in the car, and he drove silently back to the barracks gritting his teeth to avoid screaming in frustration in the vehicle. He was in fact so pissed off that he completely ignored Kondo's call of his name when he entered the front yard. He bypassed Sougo's annoying ass and any joke he'd been telling him, his ears buzzing so much he couldn't even make out the words he was being told. Hijikata got into his room and locked behind him, hoping this would dissuade anyone from interacting with him. Not that someone would even try to talk to him after the stunt he pulled, he always knew how to make people run away. And for once, even Kondo seemed to respect that, the Commander who always seemed to constantly cross everyone's boundaries knew when “Toshi” was really not in the mood.

  
  


Hijikata decided to write his account of the day for his report before going to bed, he was too pissed off to sleep anyway. Like an anchor, his cigarette tightly held between his lips was grounding, the only thing soothing his nerves currently. He sighed as he finally closed his notebook, deeming his report detailed enough to be considered as finished.

  
  


He went to shower, put clean night clothes on, and slipped in his futon. Exhausted by his “day”, sleep didn't make itself wait as Hijikata slowly started to fall asleep. Right before totally falling, and as his mind was clouding, his thoughts wandered to the silver samurai, and all he could think about was how it felt like a storm was coming up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> Well first thank you all for your kind comments on the first chapter, it means the world to me!  
> I hope that you liked this chapter as well, and please feel free to give your opinion on it in the comments!  
> By the way, if by chance you're bored and have some time to lose, I'm kinda looking for a beta reader for this fic, so yeah, I'm leaving my tumblr here just in case, https://justpendule.tumblr.com/ who knows!  
> And please, keep leaving kudos and comments, it always makes me so happy!!  
> See you next Tuesday!


	3. Confrontation

When he got into the car that evening, two nights before the mission's deadline, Hijikata knew he was fucked.

He had woken up sooner than usual. He’d blamed it on the noise the training men made outside of the bedrooms, but he knew deep down that it wasn't the truth. He had fallen asleep that night out of exhaustion, but his body had barely gotten the sleep it actually needed before he was back on the field. Usually, when he was on night shift, he got back at the barracks between 7 and 8am, going straight to bed. He then would wake up at around 1pm and do paperwork. Then he took part in the usual training everyone had, and chatted with Kondo about whatever happened in Edo. After all that, it was usually time for him to leave.

However, lately nothing seemed to go his way. He could call it a good night if he could get 4 full hours of sleep without waking up. He tried to hide it, but the bags under his eyes deceived no one and he was in a constant foul mood. He had stopped training with everyone and didn’t talk to Kondo anymore. Instead, he went patrolling into the centre of Edo, wandering around Kabukicho casually.

This morning was no different and when he walked past the Yorozuya’s agency, all he got was silent stares from the usually so lively kids. They were alone today, just like every other day, the lazy samurai didn’t seem to be around much lately. It could explain the sour mood that seemed to radiate from the small apartment. That day it seemed that in the bar either, that the usually joyful faces seemed not to be able to remember how to smile.

He walked back to the barracks, a weight in his guts that hadn't been there on his way to come. He stopped by his usual cigarettes seller and left without a word. Not that he was known for being a chatterbox, but still. That morning, he ignored the lady's questions and walked back silently, shoulders slouched as he was smoking his umpteenth cigarette of the day. And it was only the beginning.

So when he got into the car that evening, redoing his attack plan in his head again and again, he knew that it was the decisive night. However, the weight never left him and instead settled into his throat, preventing him from eating anything before leaving. He left with a determined look, unaware of the worried glances his friends shot him as his car left the Shinsengumi's yard.

He parked in his usual spot and exchanged a few words with the man in uniform already waiting for him. Like the previous days, 'Nothing to report, traffickers stayed quiet and calm all day long, though there seemed to be less villagers walking around than usual'. Hijikata noted the information in his head and dismissed the man.

Mind focused and eyes looking without seeing, Hijikata wandered like a ghost into the foggy streets, waiting for the fateful hour where his mission would finally reach the long-awaited climax. When he saw, from his stakeout, the traffickers' figures silently coming out of the house, hours later, the anxiety he had felt earlier vanished to let place to a buzzing excitement and a restlessness he could barely contain.

The men finally out of sight, Hijikata got to his feet, dusted his clothes and dug a hand into his jacket's inside pocket. Retrieving his cigarette packet, he pulled one out and slid it between his lips. He placed the packet back before taking his lighter out, and even though he was still inside the stakeout, he placed his left hand around both the lighter and the cigarette as if to protect them from a wind that wasn't there. Habits never change.

With the lighter back in place, Hijikata finally raised his head and got out of his hideout, deciding to finally put an end to this waiting that had already dawdled. He could feel the familiar weight of his sword on his side, bouncing with each step he made on the dirt road.

His plan was clear, he had to climb on the house on the other side of the road which was alongside the traffickers’ stash. Then, he had to jump onto the stash’s roof. Once up there, he cut a small piece into the ceiling to get through the roof and slip into the attic. His priority would normally be the merchandise, but the last floor intrigued him to no end, so he made an exception.

He knew that the men guarding the house barely went to the upper floors since the only access was the stairs that started on the ground floor. Leaving the first floor would mean leaving the main access unguarded and Hijikata knew they wouldn’t take the risk.

He had passed the whole week telling himself that the infiltration would be quick and easy, but it felt like ages ago and now he wasn't sure of anything anymore. He could only wish that he wouldn’t get interrupted this time.

With the streets being clear, he walked to the house he had settled on, an empty shack which seemed to be ready to collapse at any moment. Yet, Hijikata knew how resistant these types of housing were. After all, it was meant to stand through rain, hail and hurricane. It wasn't the weight of a lone man that would put an end to its years of resistance.

The Vice-Commander easily climbed on the roof with the help of a fence nearby. With that, he easily reached the house's roof, checking his surroundings, making sure no one was around. It was quite a useless thing to do, since the fog hadn't left the town a bit since he had entered it himself.

However, when he looked down, he noticed that one of the usually sealed windows was actually ajar. Intrigued, he decided to look closer. Suddenly, he noticed it. It was slight at first, and if it hadn't been for the deadly silent neighbourhood, he might have mistaken it for an ambient sound.

He stilled. He could hear rattling, and dripping. Intrigued, he decided that since the window was already open, he could use it instead of risking getting caught by cutting through the roof. Since he couldn't have a full view of the room through the window, he listened to the surroundings, waiting quietly. Except for the dripping and the jerky rattling, there was nothing to be heard, and especially no footsteps. It drew his attention but he decided to enter the house anyway.

The first thing he noticed, as he was still halfway through the window frame was how every box was open. There wasn't a lot, but it was easy to see that they had been opened messily, as if to check the insides hastily.

Dropping silently on the floor, Hijikata checked the room quickly but as expected, there was no one around. He walked around the space, noting that, indeed, all the boxes were empty. Something at the corner of his eyes caught his attention. He crouched, shifting a case to take a closer look. The thing he had noticed actually was a stain, a blood stain, more precisely.

Frowning, the Vice-commander noticed another stain not so far away, and another, and another, and so on. Standing up, he realised that the stains looked like footprints. Coming from the lower floor, and leading to the stairs, going to the attic. This wasn't right. Hand already on his sword, ready to unsheathe it, he warily walked to the stairs.

Unlike on the floor he was in, and the one downstairs, there was a door at the end of the staircase leading to the attic, ajar. For a moment, he contemplated the idea of going downstairs. But both his mind and guts were telling him to go up. Still as silent as he could, he slowly went up, step by step.

After the third one, a rank smell reached his nostrils. Forced to stop for a second, he took his breath before riding up his cravat to his nose. Getting moving again, he quickly reached the door. The steps were cracking under him but he didn't care about the discretion anymore, the smell was getting stronger and stronger and it made his head slightly dizzy. He knew that smell, too well.

He pushed the door fully open, coming into the room without even checking before, too focused on his breathing. When his nose finally grew used to the putrid smell, he finally opened his eyes, and immediately regretted it.

Had his sword being unsheathed, he would have dropped it. The floor was covered with straw, the walls with stains. On the straw were laying bodies -and there was no doubt that there was no life in these people anymore-, all sporting awful cuts and wounds. The sight was enough to form a dry lump into his throat, however, the retching came when he took in the poor people's ages. All three of them were probably just around his age, if not younger.

The only light illuminating the room was coming from a small lamp in the back of the place, hiding probably much more to the scene than Hijikata could see. It was fine, since he wasn't sure he could have stood more. He was used to corpses and stinky rooms, but it was another story when youngsters were involved.

In the centre of the room was a silhouette he knew only too well. He was visibly shaking, his back turned to Hijikata. His white kimono having turned a dirty shade, bloody stains “decorating” his clothes. “Unsheathed” at his side, his wooden sword was dripping with blood, held so tightly that his veins were popping out, and the vice-commander could only imagine his knuckles whitening.

“I thought I told you to stay the fuck out of this.” The silver-haired man said, his voice leaving no place for question. Hijikata didn't even have the time to answer before Gintoki turned to face him. His face was, just like his clothes, stained with blood, some of it had splashed into his hair, leaving some strands with a weird shade.

In the blink of an eye, Hijikata was violently pinned to the wall behind him, a sword planted dangerously close to his side. Red eyes piercing through his. Gintoki's face was contorted by anger and at this point the Vice-Commander frankly didn't understand what held the other man back from stabbing him here on the spot.

This scene was familiar to Hijikata as it was the same exact situation that had happened two days ago, except that the roles were swapped this time and he wasn't sure he would get out of it as swiftly as Gintoki had. Gintoki had followed him into the streets, as he'd followed Gintoki into the house.

'What happened here?' Was the only thing Hijikata could say, his mind racing with dozens of questions and his chin pointing to the bodies. Apparently it wasn't the good question to ask, as Gintoki frowned. 'What the fuck do you mean? You're not even aware of what's going on?' The silver-haired man answered angrily, coming even closer to Hijikata.

The dark-haired man decided that it was enough, as he pushed the other one away, sliding the sword out of the wall as well. Gintoki's hand hadn't moved an inch. 'I had doubts, but nothing to confirm it. That was the point of my investigation'. He tried to be as firm as he could, since it was the truth. Of course there was something wrong with the traffic, but he had no clear piece of information to be sure of it.

'Get out of here, then, I won't repeat myself. There is no need for backup, and you're not even understanding the situation here, so just go back to Edo and let me do my job'. Hijikata couldn't hold back a huff, 'Your job? My job is to protect citizens and stop whatever's going on here, yours is not.'

Gintoki was visibly simmering, 'Your job is to protect the Shogun and the Bakufu's system, not to protect poor people. My job is to do what YOU cannot do, because you're too obsessed with your fucking stupid collaborator of a government'. Gintoki stepped back towards him, grabbing him by the collar. 'THESE KIDS ARE DEAD BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T PROTECT THEM'. Hijikata knew it too well. The Shinsengumi was supposed to protect people. He was the first one to be upset at the fact that they were the Bakufu's guard dogs before being proper samurai.

But it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair for Gintoki to throw it into his face as if he didn't already know that. He was here, that was a proof of how he cared, right? He hadn’t been able to save them, but now that he knew, he was there to put an end to the bloodshed.

He let his hand holding Gintoki's wrist down, any trace of anger leaving his mind. Disgust and frustration taking place slowly. ‘You think I’m not aware of all of that?’ he sighed, ‘I know what I’m a part of. It doesn’t mean I’m not trying to get things better’. Now wasn't the time to get into an argument. He disentangled himself from Gintoki's grip, sheathing his sword back into its scabbard.

He slowly walked to the first girl, crouching. Pain had twisted her features and it seemed that the ache had taken over her during her last moment. He softly straightened her head onto the straw mattress, the only sign of apology he could offer her at the moment.

He did the same for the two other people, feeling Gintoki's gaze on his back. In truth, his mind was racing. Making plans on how to put an end to it as fast as he could. Biting his lower lip, he stood up and walked the few steps to the door. Without looking back, he went down the stairs, reached the first floor, and then went down the second flight of stairs.

He wasn't surprised when he was welcomed by the sight of two men laying on the ground covered in blood. He didn’t recognise them, as the “guards” were changing every night. Whatever his former plan might have been, it had been destroyed the minute Gintoki had stepped into the house. It was fine though, he could adapt, he always did. Without turning back, he said 'What were your leads?'. He received no answer. 'We heard rumours about nightly traffickers dealing with amantos in the poor district. If I’m here it’s because none of the police branch has ever deign to examine the case. It had to change'. He heard a sigh behind him, followed by footsteps. Finally, Gintoki talked as Hijikata turned to face him, 'I was walking back home from a really important job the other day, as always, when-'

He stopped, freezing. His eyes met Hijikata's as they both heard footsteps outside. Someone being outside at 4 in the morning? It could only be the traffickers. _Fuck_. Why were they back so quickly? They weren't supposed to come back before almost an hour and a half. They heard a knock on the door. Minutes ticked as they waited, not sure what exactly. A knock again. 'Hey Kiyo, Honda, everything's okay?'. 'Yeah sure, what the fuck do you want, why are you not with the others?' Gintoki said, in a serious tone Hijikata hadn't expected. He'd been quick to react. 'That's the fucking amantos, they say there's a problem with the merchandise. There's a kid missing or something.'

Gintoki was frowning, and time was ticking by. 'What do you mean there's a kid missing? There ain't no kid no more, they'll have to wait'. Hijikata said, trying his best to somehow change his voice. The man on the other side of the door didn't answer, and for a second Hijikata thought he had left. But then he heard the click of a key in the lock, and before they could move, the door opened.

The man was wearing a dark grey kimono, with a sword at the waist, and an oil lantern in his left hand, his eyes widening at the sight of the inside of the house. Frozen like deers in headlights, two men were standing in the room, a silver-haired one with a white kimono covered in blood, and the Shinsengumi's Vice-Commander. On the ground, presumably the body of his two accomplice he had called out earlier. It wasn't surprising that the trafficker, totally panicked, turned his heels and started running into the streets.

It was just as if the time had been stopped and was now ticking back again as both samurai started to run after him, hoping to reach the man before he could alert anyone. But it was in vain, as the man started to scream in the middle of the night, his yell ending in a disgusting gurgling sound as blood filled his mouth, a wooden sword and a steel sword stabbing him to death. Yet, it was too late, the man had the time to scream orders none of them had understood, and a mixture of excitement and apprehension flooded through their veins as lights were starting to get switched on in the surrounding houses.

Gintoki grabbed the man on the ground and dragged his body to the house, throwing it unmindfully on one of his colleague's. He then slammed the door shut and got back to Hijikata's side. 'You've ruined my stealth infiltration, Yorozuya, I hope you'll bear the consequences'. The Vice-Commander said, sighing. It earned him a chuckle from the latter as he retrieved his cigarette packet and lighter. He tilted his head down to protect it from the wind as he always did. However, as he did it, he heard an 'Oh fuck' coming out from the other man. He lighted his cigarette on before looking up. 'Oh fuck' he said, as well.

In front of them, on the West side of the village, halfway between their position and the trafficker's meeting place, smoke was coming out of the street. White smoke mixing with the surrounding fog. Right below them, the very source of creation of the said smoke, glowing red and orange flames were soaring, licking at the sky growing bigger by each second.

A fire, in a village where houses were only made of wood and thatch. 'You're seeing this, right?', the black-haired man asked. 'Yep,' Gintoki said, 'Looks like hell's gates had an early opening just for the two of us'. And with that, he rushed forward the blaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I think this chapter was definitely my favourite to write! I think we can say that the story is speeding up, and I hope that the "revelation" wasn't disappointing. Tell me what you thought about it!
> 
> I want to do a special thanks to the wonderful Rai who kindly offered to beta read the fic, thank you very much!  
> To be honest every Tuesday I have to refrain myself from posting the whole fic because I'm too excited to see your reactions ahah.
> 
> Well, see you next Tuesday then! :D


	4. Running Around

The closer they were getting, the bigger Hijikata's main fear was confirmed. It wasn't just a small fire from a lamp that had fallen. No, a house was already burnt to the ground, and the two next to it were already pretty much destroyed. Of course, the house was touching two other buildings, which had been built directly next to two other houses, and so on and so forth. It was bad.

Gintoki was the first one to reach the house that seemed to be the starting point of the fire, panicked and ready to jump. Hijikata grabbed his arm before he could get any closer, pulling him back so he could face him. 'If anyone was in the house, they're dead now, don't get yourself in danger uselessly.' He said, screaming over the noise. Gintoki was furious, screaming back 'I WON'T LET PEOPLE DIE JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID SO'. Hijikata strengthened his grip before he could go anywhere. 'Where do you think the fire is coming from, Gintoki? There's something wrong. There's a fire in the middle of their village, and yet there is no one screaming nor coming to help?', he said, Gintoki’s name slipping before he could stop himself.

This seemed to stop the samurai in his tracks as he looked around, brows furrowed. Hijikata was right, there was no one around. 'Whoever lived in these houses, they're already gone', the Vice-Commander said, releasing the other's arm. The silver-haired man was making a face that was hard for the other to interpret, but Hijikata knew better than to say anything about it. Now wasn't the time. Somehow, the sadness in his face did something to Hijikata's heart, but he chose to ignore it.

Regaining his composure, Gintoki said 'We have to call the firefighters, and for backups too, even though there are no victims yet, we can't simply let the village burn while we're going to fight the traffickers', looking at the Vice-Commander expectantly. Realising that the other man was referring to his phone since he had none, Hijikata put his hand in his pocket to get it. He could call the firefighters and then the Shinsengumi. He was disappointed at the idea that he had messed the mission up so bad that he had to call for backups, but it seemed like it was their best option right now. If the situation wasn't dealt with straight away, then there would definitely be deaths by dawn.

The phone was not in his jacket's right pocket, so he mindlessly searched into the one on the other side. Nothing. He searched into his inside pocket, but he only found his cigarette packet which had drastically reduced. There were only 3 cigarettes left, he had smoked more than usual. Pissed off, he searched into his trousers' pockets, but there was still nothing, in either front or back pockets. Frowning, he touched his pockets again, but they were all empty except for his wallet, the packet, his lighter, and two tubes of mayonnaise, including an empty one. That wasn't normal, his phone should have been there.

He looked up, checking around before looking at Gintoki. 'Where's your phone?' the latter asked, inquisitive. 'I don't know', was all Hijikata could answer. His mind racing, he stepped back before turning on his heels, screaming to Gintoki, 'Stay here, I'll be back in a minute'. He rushed back to the stash, careful to make sure there was no one around. But the streets were empty as ever, the smoke slowly filling the air. Storming into the house, he rushed to the stairs, checked every room and every open box, but he found nothing. Going back down, he searched into the traffickers’ pockets, but even with three dead bodies on the ground, none of them had a phone. 'What the fuck', he cursed. He tried to remember his route of the night, but walking back the whole way to hope to find a phone that probably wouldn't be there any more seemed like a stupid idea. And time was running out.

He ran back to Gintoki who had somehow found a bucket and some water. Seeing the man, he remembered that he had another option. Coming closer to him, he screamed, 'I can't find it, but there's a radio in my car'. Gintoki paused for a moment, looking at him. 'You think you could reach someone with that?', he finally asked. Hijikata bit his cigarette, thinking. It could do it, it was their only option after all, since they couldn't find anyone else. 'Yeah, I can', he chose to answer. It seemed to be enough for Gintoki who simply answered, while getting back to work 'Then go. I'll try to handle the fire, and you call for backup'. Nodding, Hijikata turned back again and started to run. It felt like the only thing he did that night: running around.

He was used to it, of course, but it didn't mean he liked it. He was a man of action indeed, but fond of fights against people, criminals, not against out of control elements such as a fucking fire. They were nothing against such an uncontrollable thing.

The fact that he knew the streets by heart was a good thing, it allowed him to be more quick, to go from streets to streets as swiftly as he could. Time was the most pressing issue here. He couldn't help the anxiety slowly getting to him, since the beginning of the mission had been such a failure. He should've gone as usual, taking Sougo or Kondo with him, or even Yamazaki, but being alone wasn't a good idea. It never was. He'd seen it when he had fought against Mitsuba's husband. He wasn't good alone, he either let his emotions get the better of him, or acted like he had none, committing a killing spree without batting an eye. It wasn't good. But he had wanted to do something alone for once, to get back to his roots, fuck, to have some time alone. He understood now how it was a fucking mistake. Of course it was, but it was too late, wasn't it? All he could do now was to rely on the Yorozuya.

That fucking Yorozuya who had messed his fucking mission up. -It wasn't really true since he would have messed it up all the same, but still, it felt good to blame the man for it-. He was so annoying, always following him, playing dumb in front of everyone, and then looking so broken each time they somehow ended up fighting together. It wasn't always only during fights, in fact. Sometimes after a long day Hijikata crashed into a random dodgy bar, and sometimes the man was there too, drinking his ass off with money he didn't have. The good part of it was that most of the time he didn't say a word. Silently drinking, recalling things Hijikata surely couldn't even fathom.

It was always like that with him, no matter what you thought or knew of him, it was never the entire truth. His past being full of mysteries, lies and grey areas. He was at the same time a veteran, a criminal, a saviour, and a ghost. He was all and everything at the same time, and it pissed Hijikata off so much.

It pissed him off because he seemed so unattainable during those times. No matter what Hijikata did. Or anyone else, for that matter. No one seemed to be able to see through the haze that was Gintoki's mind. Hijikata felt helpless when that happened. When he would patrol in Kabukicho and he would spot the man wandering slowly, except that instead of the usual joyful cheer he would earn from the man as he would get close, the other samurai would simply walk past him as if he wasn't even here. In these moments, the only thing proving that the man was alive would not be him walking or breathing, but the pain painted on his face. Showing that he still hadn't reached the breaking point, the point where he would remain an empty shell with nothing inside but void. As long as he suffered, as long as sadness would deform his features, then hope would remain.

  
As he was frantically running in that village, through smoke and fog, at 4 in the morning, Hijikata wondered when that need to keep a smile on the Yorozuya's face had appeared. It was scary to think about it, to think that as he was leaving the town for the woods nearby, he silently hoped that it would be okay for the other man. He could deal with it alone obviously, but Hijikata had felt earlier that night that, when Gintoki had pushed him against the wall, anger showing through his pulsing veins, that the man had been so close to snapping. He was moved by the case, and if someone else died that night “because of him”,-as the silver-haired man probably thought it would be his fault- there was a great likelihood that only the ghost of himself would come back to his place above Otose's snack house.

Lost in his thoughts, Hijikata almost didn't feel the presence behind the tree, 5 metres ahead on his right. He slowed down his pace as a man came out from behind the trunk of the oak, sword in evidence. Two other men quickly showed up, circling Hijikata with their swords out. Why were they here? The black-haired man didn't have the answer and so decided to skip the wondering part, deciding instead that actions were better than words in such a situation. He easily dodged the first opponent's attack and immediately cut him across the chest while he was left defenceless by his attack. His body fell to the ground with a loud thud and his two companions pounced themselves on Hijikata in retaliation. He easily dodged their attacks as well and struck them with an agile move. He wiped the blood off of his sword on one of the kimonos on the ground and sheathed his sword again. They were just small fry, no doubt that they had been sent just to hold him back, but it wasn't a good sign.

The place he had parked the car to was near now, and he got going again. This time he was more carefully scanning the surroundings, but there was no one in sight. He slowed down as he reached the spot, and he quietly walked the last few steps separating him from the car. Except that there was no car.

Not on the spot, nor anywhere in sight. He should've felt it. He should have known that this would be the first thing that the traffickers were going to attack. Now he -they, if he included Gintoki, because he had no idea how the man came to the village- had no way to get out of here. Now they were stuck, with no way to reach the outside world. Fucking hell, this was a fucking joke, right? Could this night end already? Because it was starting to be long, and at the rate things were going, he wasn't sure he would be there to see the sunrise, or if exhaustion would take him before that.

Yet, he kept running, he had to, for the kids he hadn't been able to save, and for the silver samurai who would carry the weight of the guilt on his shoulders. He couldn't let him carry that burden alone. Strangely, just like in every journey, the way back always seemed quicker than the drive to get to the place. He reached the side of the town he had left into Gintoki's hand earlier, but something was different. Instead of the deadly silence only disturbed by the crackling of the wood burning he had left the place with, he was welcomed by an impossible hubbub.

The fire, though it hadn't stopped, didn't seem to have extended that much, yet there wasn't anyone to take care of it anymore. In front of it, dozens of figures were moving, menacingly screaming at someone. In the middle of it all, a lone silhouette whose silvery haircut always stood out of any scene, was the centre of everyone's attention. What was happening, Hijikata wasn't sure, but whatever Gintoki had done, it had put the villagers into a rare fit or rage.

Hijikata stepped closer, determined to calm the situation because it clearly was worsening. He sped up, there were too many voices to be heard and it was hard to see since they were in front of the fire, the blaze dazzling him, forcing him to look on the side. The villagers raised their voices, yet the Vice-Commander couldn't hear Gintoki's under the racket they were making. It seemed like he wasn't even trying to defend himself against them.

A flash of light caught Hijikata's attention and it took him time to realise that it was coming from the fire reflecting on someone's blade. His brain took time to take the information in and the time it was over, it was too late. A man fought his way through the small crowd that had gathered, screaming just like anyone else. In the blink of an eye he threw himself at the silver-haired man and lodged a sword into his abdomen. Hijikata's breath hitched as he heard an ugly sound looking like a scream coming from nearby. It took him time to realise that it was his own as he ran towards the Yorozuya. In front of him, surrounded by aggressive villagers, Gintoki collapsed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> It was a calm chapter in comparison with the previous one but it allowed me to dive more into Hijikata's perception of Gintoki, so I hope that you still liked it!
> 
> Thanks again to the wonderful Rai for beta reading the fic, she's of great help!
> 
> Then again, if you enjoyed the chapter please leave a comment and kudos, it means a lot!
> 
> Well then, see you next Tuesday :D


	5. The Truth Unfolds

For the first time in his life, Hijikata wished that Sougo was here. With his bazooka, he could have easily dispersed the villagers who were massing around the man on the ground. Instead, Hijikata had to run into the crowd directly, sword unsheathed and threatening everyone without distinction. He had lost sight of the man who had stabbed Gintoki when he had started to run towards him. It was of no use to try to find him, he was probably gone already. Hijikata didn't actually want to hurt any of those people, they were innocent villagers, after all, but he couldn't understand what was going on right now and what was the cause of their anger. Gintoki had ahabit of making enemies in a flash, and this town was apparently no exception.

After having pushed the inhabitants at a reasonable distance, he crouched next to Gintoki. But as soon as he was on the ground, the villagers drew closer once again, curiously watching. They were being less noisy, and yet he still barely heard the silver-haired man's voice when he talked, 'Just pretend that I've passed out, they'll let us go more easily'. Hijikata didn't answer but mentally agreed, and as they were almost surrounded again, he grabbed Gintoki with both arms, manoeuvring in a way that wouldn't put any pressure on his wound.

He stood up and walked away quickly, Gintoki indicating the way to a house nearby the man knew to be empty. He stumbled their way in and climbed the stairs softly, entering the only room of the upper floor. He carefully laid Gintoki down on the wooden floor as he started to open the other's kimono to check his wound.

Propping himself up against the wall with a hiss, Gintoki said with smugness, 'Oï oï, if you want to strip someone down you should ask them first, Ogushi-kun'. Refusing to answer, Hijikata simply stepped backward, inspecting the room while the other was painfully stripping from his top and undershirt.

He heard noises downstairs and realised that he hadn't locked the door. He hadn't thought he would need to, but it seemed like the inhabitants were not ready to let them go that easily. He had to ask Gintoki about it later on, thoughnow he had to barricade themselves into the dilapidated house. Looking around was pretty quick considering that the room was ridiculously small and had the only furniture a bedside table without a bed, and a chair on the opposite side of the room. He quickly brought both downstairs, creating a makeshift barricade that would have to do for the time being.

He came back into the room to see Gintoki sprawled on the floor, bare-chested and all sweaty. The look he shot him was downright erotic and Hijikata had to suppress a shiver, burying the thoughts into the deepest part of his mind. Every other erotic thoughts were nipped into the bud as his eyes landed on the ugly red mark on the man's abdomen. Grimacing, Hijikata crouched next to Gintoki, taking his jacket off and examining the cut more closely. The cut was clear into the small intestine. It wasn't a lethal injury, but could quickly become one if it wasn’t treated rapidly.

He had to stop the bleeding. Reluctantly, he tore his jacket with his teeth to adjust the size of the fabric. 'Lift your ass up, I won't be able to tie it around your waist in that position'. Gintoki shot him a dirty look, ready to retort, but he hissed in pain as he made a wrong move. Just as reluctantly, he straightened up against the wall leaving Hijikata enough space to tie his jacket. He cleaned the wound with a piece of his sleeve and then fastened it tightly, earning him a grunt from the silver-haired man as he was gritting his teeth in pain. There was no doubt that the man had seen worse, but still, a wound was a wound.

Finally done, Hijikata came to sit at Gintoki's right. With the fire still burning strongly, the sky had turned a strange shade of red, lightening the room with a flickering light. 'Fuck, what kind of irony it would be if we died in a fire caused by the very same villagers we tried to protect', he let it slipped. He hadn't planned on saying it out loud, but anyway. He heard ruffling on his side and turned to look at his companion in misery. 'They didn't put their own houses in fire just because they felt like it', Gintoki mumbled. Hijikata didn't understand, what kind of reason could put one to set their own house on fire? 'Why, then?', he asked. Gintoki sighed loudly, 'And you were supposed to investigate them, huh? The whole village is under the trafficker's control. They've established their business here because no cop never took the trouble to come here, no one cares about the people living here', he started, and Hijikata didn't say a word because he couldn't deny the fact that he had never sent any Shinsengumi's patrol so far from their usual route before.

'That's the code here, if something goes wrong, the villagers have to warn the traffickers, I guess setting something on fire is the quickest and easiest way to do it' he said, shrugging.

Sitting here made Hijikata realise how exhausted he was, his limbs were heavy and he decided to close his eyes, just for a little while. The other man was talking, his voice somehow soothing him. He could allow himself a pause, right?As he listened to Gintoki, he realised that he finally had the opportunity to ask a question he had wanted the answer for since the first time he'd seen the man in town. 'Oï, Yorozuya, what brought you here?'

There was a long pause and for a moment the Vice-Commander thought he wouldn’t answer. ‘About two weeks ago someone came knocking on our door in the middle of the night. At first I mistook it for someone else so I didn’t answer, but he wouldn’t have knocked on the front door so I got up. I decided to open and instead of facing a drunk man as I expected, it was a girl sobbing her heart out on my landing. I usually don’t let people with mucus running down their faces into my house, but it was cold outside so I decided to let her in so I could keep the heat intothe house, I don’t have money to lose on the heating’. Hijikata snorted at that, obviously the other man wouldn’tadmit that he had acted on pure sympathy, he had a reputation of an asshole to uphold, right?

‘Are you laughing at me? Are you? Because if you are, you can go fuck yourself!’ Gintoki said, pretending to be offended and throwing him an indignant look. Hijikata raised an eyebrow at him. Huffing, Gintoki resumed, ‘You don’t deserve me. So, where was I? Yeah, so I let the girl in and Sadaharu practically jumped on her, but instead of biting her, he lapped at her face! Unbelievable, the little shit has the nerve to act like this as if _I_ wasn’t the one who fed him. Anyway.’ His face darkened, and Hijikata understood that the real story started here. Without admitting it, he liked to see Gintoki’s joyfulness, and most of the time that was the state the man was in when they met. But the face he was making now was one of the serious ones, and he didn't like it.

‘She chose to come to me’ -Hijikata noted the “me” instead of the usual “us”. It only confirmed his assumption on how neither of the kids knew what was going on here- ‘instead of anyone else because she had heard the story of a samurai with a wooden sword who helped people in need-’ he paused, chuckling, ‘ it really makes it sound like I’m some kind of Robin Hood or something, the fool. But anyway, she came all the way to our front door so I couldn’t refuse to listen to her.’ He paused once again, a wave of pain visibly hitting him as he hissed loudly, his knuckles whitening on his clenching fists.

‘They have the whole village and some families around under their control. Men are sent in Edo’s gangs to gain money and if they don’t earn enough for the month, a member of their family is kidnapped and sold to the fucking amantos you’ve seen in the clearing’. His face held a bleak air as he was telling the story, and there was no doubt that his mind was racing with sombre memories as he was speaking. ‘She said that they were tortured in order to make them more docile’.

Gintoki closed his eyes as his head bumped on the wall he was propped against. ‘They took her little brother. She said I was her last hope… but I think he’s part of the ones in the attic’. Hijikata’s heart stoppedwhen he heard it, how his voice had quivered. It was just unfair how Gintoki was putting the blame on himself. It was unfair how this man seemed to be constantly pushed to his limits, as if no one was here to stop him from going too far. But the thing was that, there were people. His two kids being the prime example, and even if they couldn’t really understand his blanks and why sometimes he looked like a ghost, Katsura was here as well. But it seemed like the sight of the Joui Revolutionary only made things worse, as if Gintoki blamed himself even more. But to blame himself for what? Hijikata didn’t know. Even when he had the misfortune of meeting his former brother in arm, Gintoki’s pain only seemed to be intensified. Just as if he was overwhelmed by a sense of shame and disgust that made it almost impossible for him to look at himself in the mirror. Hijikata knew that, that feeling of having failed, that weight on his heart when he gave his report back to Kondo after some mission where he had failed to protect innocent lives. Except that with Gintoki, it seemed like the more the time passed, and the more this weight pushed him to the ground. Just like Atlas holding up the celestial heavens on his shoulders, except that no one forced Gintoki to carry all of this burden. Sooner or later, he wouldn’t be able to carry on, the weight being too much, and so, he would either give up or let the pain submerge him, bury him. And when this would happen, it would mean death to him.

Hijikata always felt helpless as he could only assist to the events from afar. But now that he was sitting next to Gintoki, all he could think about was how he wanted to lift some of that weight off of his shoulders to carry some himself. His shoulders were broad enough.

But he was underestimating the man, wasn’t he? Hearing Hijikata, it sounded like Gintoki was on the verge of dying. And even though the silver-haired man seemed to be in a pretty bad physical state, he’d seen him fight with deeper wounds. ‘What if it wasn’t him? And even if it was, there are still siblings to be saved in this town. I believe we can still do something, can’t we?’, Hijikata asked. Gintoki looked at him for the umpteenth time that night as he sighed. ‘Of course we can, I simply needed a little pause to reinvigorate’ he answered, a smug grin forming on his lips. Hijikata checked his watch. It was 4:20, if they set off now, they had a chance to catch the traffickers and maybe even the buyers.

He was about to speak again when a voice was heard from outside. He hadn’t realised that the villagers had stopped screaming, maybe they weren’t even here anymore. After the third time, Hijikata finally understood what was screamed by the feminine voice, ‘GINTOKI’. Looking up, the latter raised a brow at Hijikata. ‘ It looks like we’ll have to lose at this hide-and-seek game, Vice-Commander’.

‘Come on Ogushi-kun, lend me a hand’, the silver-haired man said then. There was a glint in his eyes as he said it, something akin to determination and Hijikata mentally sighed as he finally looked like the Gintoki he knew. Maybe tonight, under the full moon, he would have the chance to see the Shiroyasha in action again. It was a sight to see the man aplenty killing every living soul having the misfortune of crossing his path. A thrill of pure excitement ran through him at the thought of a new fight coming close. Killing didn’t give him pleasure as it did for Sougo, but it was far from disgusting him for all that. And when he seriously decided to get down to business, beware not to stand in his way, because Hijikata Toushirou was not a merciful man.

He helped the man to his feet and went down the stairs first, moving the furniture away. Gintoki almost followed suit, the stairs posing a little bit more of a problem for him. As Hijikata opened the door and stepped out, the heat took over him and he realised how close it was from their “shelter”. The movement caught the girl’s attention and she ran towards him. She practically jumped on Gintoki the moment he stepped out of the house. From where he was standing, Hijikata easily saw Gintoki suppressing a grunt. He’d been slower because he had slipped his sleeves on again, probably to hide his wound from the girl. Gintoki’s eyes met Hijikata’s and the silver-haired man grinned at him. He slowly detached himself from the girl and, walking towards Hijikata, said over the cracking of the blaze, ‘Ready for a good beating, Ogushi-kun?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> It was more a discussion chapter than an action one, but I really hope that the revelations were equal to your expectations! It was the most challenging chapter to write for me since it was mostly dialogues, so I'll be really happy if you leave a comment and kudos after reading it! ♥
> 
> Thanks again to the wonderful Rai for beta reading the fic, she's of great help!
> 
> Well then, see you next Tuesday :D


	6. The Dance of the Demonic Vice-Commander and the Shiroyasha

The way to the clearing had been pretty fast considering Gintoki’s injury and the girl’s rambling. Hijikata doubted that she was even in her twenties, and yet everything in her behaviour and way of speaking indicated that she’d seen more in her life than any teenager should have. There was a maturity in her that reminded him of Sougo, lest his vices. As they were running, she explained that the villagers had already called for the firefighters and that all they had to do was to stop the traffickers from running away before waiting for them. She also apologised on their behalf for having attacked Gintoki, which the latter only brushed aside, pretending that it was nothing. Hijikata knew that it was not, the man had lost his usual ease and the hand he usually had in his clothes was holding his side in a vain way to stop the spreading pain. If the girl had noticed it, she’d said nothing.

Hijikata eventually learned that the villagers had already tried to reach someone for help but that their calls had always been left unanswered. Hijikata could barely suppress his anger at this point. How could anyone conscientiously ignore the call for help of a whole village? He knew the system he was part of was rigged, but he still hoped to help in his own way. Hearing that situations like this weren’t even addressed in their meetings because it didn’t directly threaten the Shogunate or Edo made his blood boil. The girl also said that the villagers were sorry for having spilled the beans to the traffickers on where Hijikata had gone, which explained why they had mounted an ambush on him on the way to the car. The vice-commander couldn’t really be angry at them for that, after what they’d been through, this was just a detail at this point.

He also learned that even though they had established their business in the village, the traffickers didn’t only trade these villagers, but people coming from the entirety of Japan, and obviously a large amount of them coming from similar towns and poor families. The traffickers they were dealing with tonight were far from being the head of the organisation.

They reached the clearing around 4:45, hiding behind boulders, trying to listen to what was being said. But it was more wasting their time than anything since the traffickers already knew that they were coming. ‘Get out of here or he’s dead’, said one of the traffickers, loudly. There was no doubt that it was meant for them. Slowly, Hijikata got up, both hands raised, the right one holding a cigarette. In front of him were around 20 men and 15 amantos. 9 hostages were standing in a corner surrounded by both amantos and traffickers. There was a kid between what probably were the two bosses of both organisations, a knife against his throat. Hijikata slowly stepped towards them and was quickly surrounded by men. They grabbed his sword, pushed him to his knees and tied his wrists with ropes. The amanto’s boss approached, a smug grin on his face.

‘So you’re the fucker who decided to stick his nose in our business, huh?’, he said, and Hijikata had rarely wanted to murder someone as violently as he did in that exact precise moment. However, something struck him. He was the Shinsengumi’s Vice-Commander, they knew who he was. They knew that someone was after them, so they had immediately made the connection between him and the warning fire. Yet, Hijikata realised that none of them probably knew who Gintoki was or even the fact that there was someone else coming after them. Hijikata couldn’t hold back a smirk as he grasped the situation. The silvery bastard was going to wreak havoc on their group by attacking them by surprise and he couldn’t wait to see it.

The ropes were so tightly bound around his wrists that he could feel his blood circulation decreasing. He hoped Gintoki wouldn’t take too much time to make a move, because he was starting to be manhandled a little bit too roughly for his liking. The ground under his knees was composed of dirty soil and gravel, and he could feel the sharp edges of some pebbles slowly sinking into his skin. He’d have to tell Kondo that these pants surely looked nice but didn’t do much to protect them when they were on a mission.

The hostage had been taken away by one of the underlings and the head of the traffickers was now walking towards him as well. He walked past the amanto and crouched in front of Hijikata. Being on the ground made him seem way smaller than the man facing him. The trafficker grabbed a fistful of raven hair and forced Hijikata to look up. He turned the Vice-Commander’s head to the left and right, examining him, before turning towards the amanto. ‘He sure is not that young anymore but he’s got a pretty face, I bet you could find him a use in your ship’. The other boss laughed at that. Hijikata, face still held up and looking past the two men, saw in the darkness things falling to the ground. Even though the night was still dark, the moon provided enough light to discern what was going on. And even without it, it wasn’t hard to understand who was the looming figure in the back and what were the things that fell to the ground as it walked past them. The Vice-Commander joined the laughing man and kept laughing as the other stopped, confused. And before the man holding his hair could retaliate, screams coming from the back of the clearing were finally heard.

Amantos quickly surrounded their leader protectively, whereas the traffickers scattered around, caring more about their own skin than the team spirit. But it was too late, blood was already being scattered on the ground as a figure with silver hair was letting loose on every man crossing his path. The samurai remembered Hijikata of a wild beast, going from prey to prey, leaving nothing of the poor men who were touched by his sword. After the confusion, the man still holding his hair pushed him to his feet, grabbing a knife from its scabbard and putting it against Hijikata’s throat, shielding his body with the raven-haired man’s. Slowing his deadly dance, Gintoki stopped at a good distance, looking at them with a threatening glare. Hijikata could feel the other man trembling behind him and no one missed the quiver in his voice as he spoke up, ‘I don’t know who you are, but if you want him to stay alive, you should stay where you are’. Gintoki snorted at that, raising an eyebrow, ‘Really? I guess you’ll have to set yourself free all alone then, Hijikata-kun’. As an answer, the latter grinned back.

Before the man behind him could do anything, Hijikata head-butted him, easily pushing the knife away. He turned his back to Gintoki and the latter threw him his sword he’d probably gotten out of a dead traffickers’ hand. With his weapon, the Vice-Commander handily cut the ropes on his wrists and sighed in relief as he felt the blood finally rushing back into his numbed hands. Looking up Hijikata was delighted by the sight of the boss fearfully stepping back, arms extended in a futile attempt at protecting himself. The sound of a body hitting the ground gave Hijikata satisfaction he hadn’t felt in a very long time. When he turned away, he was surprised to see Gintoki looking at him, silently waiting for the man to join him in the deadly dance. And how could he refuse? He had waited long enough for this.

Out of the corner of his eyes Hijikata saw the girl that had been with them earlier freeing the hostages, a little boy snuggled into her arms snugly as she helped the youngest. At least these kids here were safe, it soothed his anger a little, but a rush of energy rushed through him as he remembered that if they were here at 5 in the morning in the first place it was because of his incompetence. But these thoughts didn’t belong on the battlefield so he pushed them aside and joined Gintoki instead. He’d been right earlier when he had thought that he would maybe witness the Shiroyasha in action tonight. Gintoki was running into the fight as if he’d been born just for that precise moment and sometimes Hijikata wondered if he had always been like that. It felt like swordplay was innate for him, and the raven-haired man couldn’t help but wonder if he had always been that good at it.

His body was moving on his own as screams died from the mouth of his enemies. He had compared the scene to a dance earlier, and it really did look like one. His sword cutting through flesh without ever stopping, seeming to crave for blood just as much as his owner. It seemed like if Gintoki stopped, he wouldn’t be able to dance again for the night. And it was true in a way since Hijikata didn’t understand in the first place how the man could still fight with so much ease with a wound like his. There was no doubt that once the adrenaline would drop, the man would black out from the pain.

Hijikata was not to be outdone though, as he was fighting just like the other man, targeting the amantos and leaving the traffickers to his associate of time. He had already taken down more than half of them, however the boss had gotten the time to run away during an off-guard moment. He was the big fish, and yet his men were the most organised and didn’t let Hijikata catch up with their boss.

From where he was, he saw the amanto getting back into his ship. Hijikata screamed Gintoki’s name to draw his attention, nodding into the spaceship's direction. The latter easily understood and immediately stopped what he was doing to join him. But as they were running to reach the spaceship, it soon became obvious that they wouldn’t be able to reach it in time before it took off. Cursing, the Vice-Commander sped up as he killed as many amantos as he could, it would never be as worthy as capturing the boss, but there were still fewer enemies in space.

  
It was already too late when they reached the place the spaceship had been parked two minutes earlier. The ship was already floating above them, too far for any of them to do anything to prevent it from leaving earth. A wave of rage seized Hijikata as he finished off every poor soul having the misfortune of crossing his path. He wanted to scream. But he calmed himself as he noticed that people were slowly coming from the village, hesitantly looking for their kin. He threw a glance at Gintoki and realised that the latter had been watching him. He ignored it and instead nodded towards the villagers, which Gintoki immediately understood. It seemed easy when they were in such a state, the communication, not even needing words. Gintoki walked towards the silhouettes to keep them at bay from the graphic battleground as Hijikata was looking for any survivors or lost kids. He had to admit that they had been pretty heavy-handed during that fight, killing almost everyone. It wasn’t good, they should have kept some traffickers alive in hope of getting any information on the amantos and what happened once the trafficked were sold.

Hijikata rubbed his face with his right hand and realised that it was covered in blood. Sighing, he took his last cigarette and crushed the packet with his fist. He put the packet back into his pocket and opened his lighter before putting it back with the packet. He took a drag from his cigarette as he threw his head back. The sun was slowly rising on the clearing and for once he didn’t want to go back to the barracks. The situation left a bitter taste in his mouth as he thought about going back to the Shinsengumi after such a failure.

From the corner of his eyes he saw Gintoki trying somehow to contain the villagers who seemed to seek for answers. Hijikata was still the Vice-Commander here, it was his job to comfort the population so he walked towards the growing group, throwing his last cigarette on the ground as he got near children. He could have almost laughed at the relieved glance Gintoki threw him as all the villagers suddenly turned to him, bombarding him with questions. He answered what he could, ushering them to walk further away from the clearing as it was becoming easier to see the details of their rough night. He took the opportunity of being around so many people to ask for a phone, which he was offered quite quickly by a villager. He dialled the Shinsengumi headquarters’ number and was relieved to hear Yamazaki on the line instead of Kondo. He explained the situation briefly and asked for backups, medics, and ambulances. They walked back into town and Hijikata couldn’t stop looking behind him where Gintoki was walking, further back, the girl he’d seen sooner still holding the little boy tightly into her arms as she was talking. But Hijikata knew Gintoki wasn’t listening, not anymore. He had this look in his eyes again.

Focusing back on the people around him, he was at least happy to see that the firefighters had taken good care of the blaze, containing the damages to only one side of the village. It was already too much as the whole population was too poor to even just get a better house, so building a new one would be impossible for them. But Hijikata would be there to deal with it, he wouldn’t let these people get abandoned by the same people they had been desperately calling for. The Shinsengumi was involved now and they wouldn’t leave before the situation was stabilised and everyone had a decent roof under which to live. Yet he couldn’t focus on that right now. He was exhausted, his head was buzzing, he wasn’t sure whose blood was on his clothes and he probably needed some stitches on his body. As soon as there was a stop in the flow of requests, he stepped away, hands in his pocket, and looked at Gintoki, waiting for him to notice. The latter finally stopped walking when he noticed the other man set back. He whispered something to the girl, patted the head of the little boy and came towards him as the teenager waved at him as a goodbye.

They didn’t say much at first, as they were slowly walking away from the village to the woods. ‘I’ve called for backups, they should be here soon’, Hijikata said without looking back. ‘I just didn’t feel like staying with the villagers’ he added. The silver-haired man chuckled behind him, saying, ‘Just sayyou’re still pissed off that they tried to burn you alive’. Hijikata snorted at that but didn’t answer. There was a bitter taste in his mouth as he was leaving the village. A sense of failure has he -they- hadn’t been able to prevent the head of the amantos from leaving. The organisation of traffickers in itself wasn’t even an important element, because the amantos would always find new partners to do business with. And the lump in the back of his throat was back. There had been too many deaths to call it a victory. Too many innocent lives that could have been saved if he had been more quick to act. He wasn’t even able to face the villagers, feeling the guiltiness eating him up as he had been answering their questions earlier.

Still in silence, they reached the main road which led to Edo. Hijikata paused at the edge of the wood, and he realised that Gintoki had considerably slowed down in speed. He turned around just in time to see the latter, who was holding onto some tree, stagger before falling face down onto the ground. Hijikata rushed to his side taking his pulse with a trembling hand. He felt a pulse, but noticed that Gintoki had trouble breathing, a wheezing breath leaving his mouth. He had blacked out. The Vice-Commander was tempted to check on the wound, but knew that he couldn’t do anything right now and that it could only worsen the situation. Instead, he turned the man on his back, brushing soil away from his face. He let his hand wander and gently tucked dirty silver strands of hair behind his ear. He wasn’t sure how he could still find the energy in himself, but still, he lifted the man up, carrying him in his arms as best as he could.

In truth he didn’t walk much distance before he heard sirens coming in their direction, and he was thankful for that because he would have never been able to carry the man such a long distance. He himself had been pretty messed up by the fight and the rough night in general. He was sure that there was just as much smoke as oxygen into his lungs. The first vehicle to appear in the distance was an ambulance, and it was good because it meant that he wouldn’t have to deal with his men or any account for the moment. As soon as they were spotted, the ambulance slowed down and the paramedics took Gintoki off his arms and ushered him in the ambulance as well. He brushed them away as they tried to examine him, repeating that Gintoki needed more care than him. He didn’t last long after that, blacking out on the way back to Edo.

* * *

He woke up a few couple of hours later, in a hospital bed, a migraine pounding in his head. The curtains had been closed but it didn’t prevent him from getting blinded by the sun as he was trying to straighten his back up. A loud voice rose as the sun was hidden by a shadow and someone was helping him to install himself more comfortably into the bed. He realised that the shadow was in fact Kondo, and it took him a few more seconds to register what the man was saying. ‘You did us a small fright, Toshi! Blacking out like that, we’re not used to it!’. Kondo’s voice was too loud for Hijikata, yet he perfectly heard Sougo’s ‘Hijikata-kun you ruined the fun, if only you hadn’t woken up’. He didn’t feel like answering to any of them and instead he gave Sougo a dirty look, asking for a cigarette. He added after a small pause, ‘And I don’t care that we’re in a hospital, _I_ _a_ _m_ the patient’. Kondo reprimanded him but he could hear in his tone that he wasn’t really thinking it.

No one said anything else as he was getting used to the light and last night events came back to him. He could feel small cuts all over his body and two deeper wounds on his right calf and upper chest. As the pain was flooding his senses, he heard noises behind him and realised that it was coming from the room next to his. A young girl was screaming something, and a boy was screaming even louder than her, as if they were doing a contest of who could be the loudest. An elderly woman seemed to try to shush them, in vain. It wasn’t hard to understand who was hospitalised in the room.

As he was lost in his thoughts, Yamazaki entered his room in a hurry, screaming and holding a cigarette packet in his hand. Hijikata snorted at the sight, Kondo already shouting at Yamazaki on how he shouldn’t scream in a hospital. No one told him that he was doing the very same by arguing with Yamazaki. The latter had left the door wide open and a man with a weird moustache walked past it, entering Gintoki’s room. A few seconds after, a strange animal, all white and with a yellow beak walked past his room as well. It stopped in front of his door, locking eyes with Hijikata. The “animal” held up a sign on which was written in messy handwriting ‘Fancy meeting you here, Vice-Commander’. With that, it walked away, entering the next room. The animal looked oddly familiar and the new voice in Gintoki’s room was suspiciously well-known, but Hijikata brushed it off, attributing it to his dizzy state. He wanted to fall asleep again. Somehow, Gintoki screaming into his room on his kids was strangely soothing, and Hijikata felt himself dozing off shortly afterwards, Kondo still scolding Yamazaki, and Sougo sitting next to his bed, unusually quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Well this was the longest chapter so far! I hope that you enjoyed it. The part with Gintoki and Hijikata walking through the woods was one of my first idea for the fic, and I'm really happy to have finally posted it :D
> 
> I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter because it's the penultimate one and even though I'm super excited at the idea of completing the fic, I'll miss having to wait every Tuesday to post a new chapter!
> 
> Once again, many thanks to the wonderful Rai for beta reading the fic, she's of such great help!
> 
> Anyway, I'll be really happy if you leave a comment and kudos after reading it and if you give me your opinion on the chapter! ♥
> 
> Well then, see you next Tuesday!


	7. Nocturnal Agreement

There was noise all across the hall as the man stepped into the building, directly heading for the lift. There was no one inside and he stepped in quickly, the quietness contrasting with the room he had been in seconds before. The building was high and it took almost two minutes for the elevator to reach the floor that had been chosen. The man got out quickly and nodded in acknowledgement to the secretary. When she saw him, the woman smiled at him, greeting him joyfully, ‘Kondo-san! He’s waiting for you in his office, you can go if you want to’. Kondo answered her with a smile and a loud ‘Okay’ before uselessly knocking on the door, opening it at the same time. He barely dodged a bullet as the smell of smoke filled his nostrils, his hands still tightly gripping the doorknob.

  
  


‘Oh that’s you Kondo, didn’t recognise you at first’, the man at the desk casually said, gun still cocked. ‘TOTSAN YOU NEARLY KILLED ME’, screamed Kondo as Matsudaira was putting the weapon down. ‘Oh come on, that’s no big deal, come and sit here’. Kondo complied grumpily, sitting opposite to the older man, heart still pounding quickly in his chest. ‘So I heard that you put an end to the traffic on the outskirts of Edo, right?’, the latter said. Kondo agreed, adding, ‘Toshi did. But he wasn’t able to stop the buyers, they were amantos and fled aboard their spaceship before he could do anything’.

Matsudaira smiled, taking his sunglasses off and rubbing his face with his right hand. ‘We’d been looking for proof to shut their organisation down but until now no one had never wanted to bear witness against them. They were close to the Tendoshu, so obviously no one wanted to cross swords with them. But with clear evidence and witnesses, we’ll be able to dismantle their organisation without the Tendoshu being able to have a say. Shige Shige has already signed the warrant, all we need is the Shinsengumi’s report’, he finally said. Kondo was dumbstruck. Hijikata had seemed so down when he had woken up in the hospital, and the following days he had looked more like a ghost than himself, and yet he had succeeded in bringing the traffic down? It sounded too good to be true.

Matsudaira got up, walking around his desk and stopping in front of the large window pane that looked out over Edo. ‘Your men gathered more information than I could have ever wished for, you should tell Toshi that this mission was a big hit. You can be proud of him, Kondo’.

* * *

Hijikata had been discharged from the hospital three days ago, only one day after his arrival. He hadn’t seen Gintoki since then. To be frank, he hadn’t left the barracks since he had come back that afternoon, too busy writing his report and training himself to exhaustion. Sougo had stayed away from him, as if he understood that Hijikata needed some distance right now. Though he was probably too busy pulling a new prank on Kondo, testing it to make sure that it would be 3 times worse once Hijikata would be the one to be pranked. The latter wasn’t in a mood for pranks anyway, his mind getting worse each passing day as he realised how useless he had been during that last mission. A failure like he had rarely known.

It wasn’t just as if it was his first defeat -and it was far from being the last-, but this time felt different. He was frustrated by the fact that he hadn’t been able to act sooner, and for the first time since he had been named Vice-Commander, someone’s words had made him doubt himself as a commander. It wasn’t just anybody’s, after all, but still. How could someone have as much impact on him as Kondo? Not that he had heard his Commander voice any disappointment out loud though, but he was sure that the man was, indeed, disappointed.

It was around 1am, he was reading Yamazaki’s freshly-written report, trying to decipher the words between the too-many anpans written all over the sheets. His sleep rhythm still hadn’t recovered from his nightly missions and so he was forced to readjust himself hour per hour, sleeping one hour earlier each “night”. But even with a normal rhythm, he was almost always awake at that time of the night.

He was taken by surprise by the light knock on his outside door. He hadn’t heard any noise coming from the backyard and his men only used the front door. He stilled, listening intently. Maybe he had mistook the noise for a simple gust of wind. Yet there was no mistaking when a second fit of knock came after his pause. He frowned, it was unusual and he didn’t like that. Now wasn’t the time for anyone to play on his nerves and he wouldn’t be lenient with anyone daring to disrupt him at such a time in the evening. He grabbed his sword just to be sure and slowly walked to the door. He opened it and stopped the person from knocking on the door for a third time that night.

Just like always, the first thing he noticed on the man was the silver strands reflecting under the moonbeams, the sky lighted up lightly once again because of the full moon. He was about to talk but was stopped by Gintoki pressing his lips against his. He registered the situation when Gintoki stepped back, eyes hesitantly searching his. Hijikata stood there, shocked and speechless. _What the fuck._ His mind wasn’t even racing, he’d just completely stopped thinking, mind blank. The world had seemed to stop, the earth stilling and the wind dying as he lost himself into the crimson eyes in front of him. There was a kind of hunger and craving he’d never seen before in the Yorozuya’s eyes, and he realised that he wouldn’t be against the idea of being the cause of satiety for the man. Everything started moving again as he dropped his sword on the hardwood floor, grabbing the silver-haired man by the nape of his neck and kissing him deeply.

Quickly, his hands found the man’s collar and he started to remove the top of his clothes rapidly. The other man took this as an opportunity to somehow take control over the situation, pinning Hijikata against the wall as his hands were holding his waist tightly. The Vice-Commander was still trying to strip the other down but it was starting to become hard to do so as he was literally glued to him, his whole body caging Hijikata against the wall. The other had moved from his lips to his neck and was now nibbling on his skin, looking as flushed and eager as he was. Overwhelmed, Hijikata placed his hands on Gintoki’s collar bones, pushing him away gently.

‘You should close the door instead of biting me like a fucking rabid rabbit’, he said, wincing as he felt drool drying up on his neck. Reluctantly, Gintoki stepped back, walked to the door and closed it, careful to lock it at the same time. All the while, Hijikata had stripped from his haori and top of his kimono, shivering slightly under the remnants of the breeze. He decided to grab the other man by his clothes, dragging him back into the centre of the room and pushing him onto his futon. The latter raised a brow, a smug smile on his face, ‘Oh so you’re taking the helm huh’. ‘As far as I know we’re still in my place, so my room, my choice’, Hijikata retorted. This earned him a soft chuckle from the other man and it almost stopped him in his tracks. Gintoki had looked so eager only minutes ago, Hijikata hadn’t expected to see him soften that quickly. He stopped thinking as it would probably lead him to thoughts he clearly didn’t want to deal with at the moment and, instead, climbed on the man splayed on his futon.

He was quite pleased to feel a bulge against his ass when he leaned in to kiss the man again. It definitely was more sloppy and messy than earlier but Hijikata wasn’t one to complain, his hands buried into knotted silver strands as he was pulling the man closer. Restless under him, Gintoki shamelessly rubbed himself against Hijikata’s ass, and the latter couldn't stop a small gasp from crossing his lips. The silver-haired man seized that opportunity to stop the kiss and return to Hijikata’s neck, but the latter had none of it and grabbed the man’s crotch without warning. It was Gintoki’s turn to gasp, frowning at the man on top of him. ‘There is no way in hell I’m letting you leave a hickey on my neck for everyone else to see’, Hijikata said as a matter of fact. It would've been hard to miss the mischievous look crossing Gintoki’s face when the man heard that and answered ‘So it’s okay if that’s somewhere no one else can see, yeah?’.

Hijikata knew the man enough to understand that if he agreed to this, he would end up with purple skin by dawn, and he was definitely not looking forward to such a night. So instead, he moved away from the man’s lap and went lower, hands holding the man’s thighs through his clothes as he said ‘If I feel one hickey on my skin, I’ll let you end the night with blue balls, is that clear?’. Strangely enough, the threat seemed to do the job and Gintoki vigorously nodded, keeping his mouth shut and his eyes focused on Hijikata’s. The latter unbuckled Gintoki’s belt and pants, tucking it down as he moved the bothering kimono aside. Gintoki gladly took his clothes off and boots at the same time. Hijikata couldn’t help but think that this definitely wasn’t how he had planned his night to go, but that whatever he had been supposed to do, it could clearly be postponed. For once, his job could wait.

About an hour later, Hijikata was panting, sweat dripping on his body and the feeling of his heart beating in his ears was filling his eardrum, a sensation not so pleasant. Under him, Gintoki was equally a mess, but even dishevelled and panting, Hijikata still found him pretty. Light was filtering from the open curtains of his window and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the slightly open mouth and sweaty forehead in front of him. It was hard to believe that this man under him who looked so vulnerable and somehow innocent was a war criminal, a killer, a swindler and a snoop. Yet, it was even harder to believe that he was a father, a role model, and a proud samurai with both virtue and honour.

No matter how much Hijikata hid it in the back of his mind and said the exact opposite to anyone who would listen to him, the amount of respect he had for Gintoki was way bigger than for anyone else. Kondo was his Commander and had saved him from a roaming life. Hijikata knew him by heart and knew most of his past life. It was the same for Sougo, he could practically read the boy like an open book even though he was still acting like an edgy teenager. He’d seen him growing to be the young man he was now. But for Gintoki, it was different. He knew almost nothing of the man’s childhood -if he ever had any-. He knew the man to be a veteran, fighting alongside Katsura, Takasugi and Sakamoto on the battlefield. He knew that he’d been imprisoned at the end of the Amanto’s war, and that he’d been saved from it by his jailer and then later saved by the old hag. It was a lot to know and yet it felt like he was a complete stranger most of the time.

Who was Gintoki seeing when his eyes seemed to lose themselves into their own pupils, drowning into a sea of memories probably too bloody for anyone else to stand? And what age could have this man whose soul had been shattered and clumsily patched up by some kids years after it being broken? There were so many questions flying into Hijikata’s mind and so little answers he could even get from Gintoki. The man was a broken ghost deluding his relatives most of the time, a ghost fooling everyone with a toothy smile and shining dead-fish-like eyes. A ghost with a shadow so huge that it was hard to believe that the sun could shine on him, and yet the rays always succeeded in finding their ways back to him when the storms finally passed. Hijikata liked to think of him as the moon’s son. It was hard not to draw the analogy when the silvery hair the man always sported as a weird perm blended so easily with the moonbeams at nightfall. And-

‘Earth to Hijikata, do you hear me? Ogushi-kun? Ogushi-kun?’ Gintoki’s palm was hot against his cheek and the smug smile on his face was doing things to Hijikata's fluttering heart he’d rather ignore. ‘Was it so good that you lost the ability to talk, huh’?, the samurai asked, and Hijikata realised that he, in fact, hadn’t said a word the whole time, only staring into space. Ignoring him, he instead backed away, the hotness of his body was slowly being replaced by the coldness of the room and he needed to put something on. He was stopped by a hand on his wrist and pulled back into bed, suddenly wrapped by two arms and pressed against a sweaty torso. He was about to protest when Gintoki shut him up with a kiss. ‘I don’t know what you’re thinking about right now but I’d rather have you thinking about my ass’, Gintoki whispered and Hijikata snorted, putting a hand on Gintoki’s face to stop the man from getting his mouth on his neck. He knew full well he would end up with weird marks if he let the man do as he pleased. 

‘There’s no way I’m going to bed without taking a shower first’, he paused, judgmentally eyeing Gintoki sprayed on the disordered futon, sheets sticking to his skin. Gintoki groaned and sat up. He ran a hand through his hair before picking his nose with the same hand. Hijikata made a face and sighed before turning, ‘Well if you’re not planning on showering, you’d better off being gone before I’m coming back’, the jet-black-haired man said before slipping into the small bathroom. The moment the words left his mouth, he cursed himself. Why was he so stupid? Why did his ego fucking took over his mind? If the man left, there was no way Hijikata would see him in his bed ever again. He was so stupid he wanted to get back into the room and hold him back. Fuck. He tried to listen carefully but he didn’t hear anything in the room so he took his shower, losing himself into his thoughts once again. He’d panicked, seeing the man here in his bed like that. Why had he come in the first place? Hijikata wasn’t sure he was ready to have a conversation of that kind right now. And ever, for that matter.

He got out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and not so dried hair dripping on his shoulders, still lost in his thoughts, when he was stopped in his tracks by a low whistle. He looked up and was surprised to see a silver-haired man sprayed on a new futon. Hijikata frowned and was about to talk when he was forestalled by the man, ‘I love your uniform but you’re even better like that’. It was true that none of them had really seen the other naked earlier because when Gintoki had showed up, only a bedside lamp had been lightening the room. Now the whole room was filled with a soft light and he could see Gintoki more clearly. He was still covered in bandages -he’d felt them under his palms minutes before, after all, and he was now wearing a pair of soft grey pyjamas. His hair was- _w_ _ait_.

‘Are you wearing my pyjamas?’, Hijikata asked in disbelief. Gintoki straightened up, and Hijikata realised that the man was eating chocolate. Where did he find that? ‘Of course I am, we’re the same height and all, it’s the perfect fit! Don’t make such a face, come on, I needed to take a piss and while I was there I decided to freshen up a bit. I wasn’t going to put my dirty clothes back on, was I?’. He got up, walked past Hijikata and opened the door to the backyard, walking barefoot on the wooden engawa. Gintoki leaned against the wall and Hijikata realised that unlike the silver-haired man, he was still mostly naked. He stepped back into the comfort of the room and changed into pyjamas as well, grabbing his jacket at the same time, slipping some flip-flops on and joining the man outside. He sat on the edge of the engawa and was almost startled when an arm passed in front of him seconds later. ‘You want some chocolate?’, the man asked. Hijikata frowned. ‘Since when do you offer your sugary shits to anyone?’, he asked. He turned just in time to see Gintoki’s dumb smile widening, ‘Since it’s your money I bought the sugary shits with’. He was ready to throw a tantrum but Gintoki quickly smacked a hand on his mouth, preventing him from making any more noise. ‘Come on, you’re not going to complain about a few yens spent into your own vending machine huh? And weren’t you the one telling me to shut it earlier? I thought the Vice-Commander followed his own orders more rigorously than than, Hijikata _-kun_ , I’m disappointed’.

The latter was annoyed but didn’t feel like arguing, so he simply smacked Gintoki’s hand away. The samurai’s face was close to him, and Hijikata had to hold himself back to not lean in and kiss him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but he was just not sure whether he was allowed to or not. It was quite stupid since they had just fucked not even half an hour ago, but he was afraid that if he made a wrong move, the spell would be broken and the man would slip off and never come to him ever again. To calm his nerves, he grabbed a cigarette from the packet in his jacket and lighted it quickly, the familiar taste filling his mouth and nose as he took a drag.

Gintoki got back against the wall and sat there, his right hand scratching his left arm through the open nightshirt he was wearing. Hijikata ignored him and instead decided to look at the backyard in front of him. He had passed so many days training here that he was sure he could place every spot of flowers and bushes onto a map with his eyes closed if he was asked to. The moon had already started to get back to its usual crescent aspect and they were far from the light it had shone on them during the previous nights. However the barracks and its surroundings were just as quiet as the town they had finally left.

Hijikata wanted to say something. A question on the tip of his tongue he desperately wanted to ask but didn’t dare to. There wasn’t only one, in fact, but some seemed more important than others. ‘Why did you come here tonight?’, he finally settled on. His cigarette wasn’t even half finished and yet he just felt like throwing it away already. ‘I just didn’t feel like facing the kids yet’, Gintoki answered, and Hijikata couldn’t help the subtle heartache he felt at that. Of course Gintoki was here solely to avoid the inevitable confrontation that would happen between him and the left-alone kids and not for any other reason. ‘They can’t know what happened, okay?’, Gintoki whispered after the silence that followed, and Hijikata nodded without turning back, retorting, ‘I don’t tell your kids and you don’t tell mine, ‘kay?’. Gintoki chuckled at that, answering a low ‘That’s a deal’. Hijikata understood that tonight wouldn’t be the night he would get any answers from the man and that it would be better to cut the discussion off before it tensed and led to any argument. They were both hot headed after all, and there was no way he could end up at 2 in the morning explaining to the whole barracks why he was fighting with Gintoki in his own room, with the man wearing HIS pyjamas. He could already visualise Sougo’s devious smirk at the prospect of new jokes to be made and he vowed to himself that no matter what happened in the future between him and Gintoki, Sougo should never learn about this, ever.

Gintoki crouched, leaning on his arms to reach Hijikata, snatching his cigarette from his hand. The silver-haired man took a drag as if it was the most natural gesture in the world and threw his head back, exhaling the smoke slowly, eyes fixed on the sky. Hijikata’s heart missed a beat at the sight. ‘Since when do you smoke?’, he asked, incredulous. Gintoki turned his head towards him, pointing a finger at himself, ‘Me? I don’t smoke.’, he answered smugly. Hijikata raised a brow at that, confused. This was such a stupid answer, and yet a totally typical one for the perm-head. ‘Why do you take my cigarette, then? It doesn’t seem like your first time smoking’, he asked. The silver-haired man chuckled at that, hand in his hair and a smug look on his face, ‘Maybe I’m just a natural, huh’, he said, winking at the end, and Hijikata wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss or punch the man.

Whatever was the answer, Gintoki’s eyes fixed on him made Hijikata blush, unsettled by his piercing gaze. The silver-haired man chuckled at the sight, turning his head on the opposite side, taking a last drag. Silently, he handed the cigarette back to the jet-black-haired man, stretching his arms behind his back once his hand was free. Hijikata looked at him before taking a drag again, though the cigarette was nearing its end. Finishing it, he threw the cigarette on the ground and stubbed it out as he got up. He was about to turn when a hand grabbed the collar of his pyjamas and made him almost stumble on himself. He frowned but didn’t have the time to say anything before his lips crashed against Gintoki’s. The latter kissed him quickly before standing up and immediately walked away. ‘I’m taking a piss, coming right back’, the latter said, answering the unasked question and waving his right arm without turning back.

Hijikata shook his head and yawned. He was starting to get tired, finally. He walked back into his room with a grunt, massaging his neck and making the bones crack as he turned his head from left to right. Once in there he remembered that Gintoki had already put the dirty futon away and taken a clean one out and he was grateful for not having to do it. He took his jacket off, dropping it on the ground, adding a new layer to the pile of their discarded clothes. Hijikata switched the light off and slipped under the cover. He heard footsteps and a door closing, letting the room lightless except form the moonbeams filtering through the window. He heard Gintoki groping around in the room to find the futon, and after long seconds and many grunts, Hijikata was finally joined by the man, Gintoki instinctively wrapping his arms around Hijikata’s waist. The latter wanted to protest but he was too tired for that. ‘You’re a fucking furnace’, he settled for, instead, and it made Gintoki chuckle against his ear.

It was weird to feel him pressed against his back, and Hijikata realised that no matter how much like a ghost Gintoki could look like, his beating heart would always prove that life still filled that body of his. Soothed by Gintoki’s steady heartbeat against his chest, Hijikata suddenly wanted nothing but to assure that this calming sound would always resonate in all Edo as a fierce hymn, and as the living proof that there was a soul, somewhere, whose existence was enough to save entire towns and lives on its own.

At 2 in the morning, his own heart erratically beating in his chest, Hijikata Toshirou realised that he was helplessly in love with Sakata Gintoki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey!!!  
> Here it is, the final chapter!
> 
> Firstly, I genuinely hope that you liked my fic! It was my first work on Gintama and I’m really happy to have finally published one in this fandom, I really wanted to write about it since I fell in love with the anime last year but never actually finished any fic before this one! Hopefully I’ll write more about it in the future!
> 
> Then, many many thanks to the amazing Rai for beta reading the fic, I don’t know what I would have done without her! 
> 
> Also, I want to thank everyone who left comments on the chapters weekly, thank you so much ♥ Please let me know if you liked the fic, I’ll be really happy to read your thoughts on this last chapter :D
> 
> On another note, the hardest part of writing this fic was finding a title. I only found it after completing the fic, while listening to the song “Trajectoire” by the late French Rapper “Népal”. The song has nothing to do with the fic, but I still found the title thanks to it, so you can check it out one of these days, it's really good!
> 
> Also, I want to give a shout-out to Saltedpin and Apathy because their series on Gintama inspired me to add the Gintoki smoking scene in the end even though it wasn’t planned at all, so go check their wonderful work out!!
> 
> PS: I’m sorry if you thought that there was going to be a smut scene, but I’m really bad at it and I didn’t want to ruin the chapter ahah ;)
> 
> Then again, thank you for reading this fic!


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